American Idol – Top 7 Reviews

Tonight’s idol was MUCH MUCH better than the past few boring weeks. Thank goodness we got some classics to sing!

My order:
#1 Kathrine – I’m sticking with you babe. I loved the song (cuz I’m a sucker for gershwin), but above and beyond the voice, I see more potential for you in the biz than Kellie. Who’s going to protect her, Grandpa? You’ve paid your dues, you’ve worked hard, and your a little rich girl from LA… what more does america want? Will you marry me? (and be baptized?)

#2 Chris – wow. Excellent. I think this one may be the one that takes him through the finish line. To the skeptics like me, he has proven he can do more besides scream his chords off.

#3 Paris – Your career has already started. Like I said last week, stop reinventing yourself and go with your strengths. Your sultry Billy Holiday voice will sell millions. Niche markets are money… just like Charlotte Church, who sang out of her demographic…

#4 – Taylor. You’re there. You’re doing ok. I like the soul patrol. I like Ray Charles. Its just that you aren’t black, and you are becoming more distant. You won’t make the top 3. Sorry, start making your record deals now while you still have nat’l coverage.

#5 – Elliot. I loved it man. I loved the way you shook off the nerves tonight and left it all on the stage. I’ll be sad to see you go… if not this week, then next, but probably this week. As if you didn’t have enough challenges with your funny mouth, your diseases, and your squinty eye, Simon just has to seal your doom with his comments. Its ok buddy, just too little too late. La Chaim!

#6 – Kellie. Sorry to put you here tonight, but I don’t like you terribly (mostly because your a moron) and your song sucked. It’s that point of the competition where good people will go every week now. You are totally safe though, so count your blessings… all 10 million country fans out there watching the show. Especially with Bucky’s votes going to you this week, you’re ultra safe.

#7 – Ace. Why are you still here? I told you to leave the show weeks ago. Listen to me for I am wise. You suck. You are a face. Go away. I hate your ugly long hair. I love the fact that you weren’t an abercrombie poster child for once tonight. Hopefully your friends will think you’ve cheated on them and will spite you by not voting… or hopefully there is a nationwide phone outage at Gay bars.

The way the voting will REALLY go: (top to bottom)
Chris, Kellie, Paris, Kathrine, Taylor, Ace, Elliot

Rationale: Next one to go is a guy. Statistically it should be Ace, but after Simon’s comments tonight and Elliot’s appearance in the bottom 3 last week, my gut says he’s gone. However, could Elliot’s appearance in the bottom 3 have been enough to mobilize his base to put him into the #6 spot?

Kellie has all the country vote, Paris has all the black vote, and Kathrine has all the rest of the girl/guys voting for her. The girls are safe. They are diverse enough. It will come down to a fight between Kellie and Kathrine. Will stupid southern belle beat out classy western prep snob?

“Can anyone beat Chris?” is the question everyone is asking right now. So far he is still the clear favorite. He has the all-american idol story. He works hard and is a much serious rocker that Bo Bice (give me a break). AI fans want something harder, and he has the perfect Fantasia-like story with a great talent.

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