Let me first apologize for not writing my AI epistle before the vote off tonight. I was in whacko texas seeing Tony, my friend.
This week was MUCH better than country week. Everyone seemed to be a little more into it.
I’m going to start with Chris: Chris, you have to start picking songs that get people out of their chairs. You could KILL in this competition and you’re just waffling along. I get you want to be different and do your alternative thing. The fact is, and Simon keeps saying it, you are getting indulgent; picking songs YOU think you like and YOU think you sound good on. Come on: the Korn thing? The wacky country whatever that was last week? It all started after you sang your little version of Walk the Line and now you think suddenly you’re mozart or something. Careful buddy… or Paris, Kellie, or Kathrine will mop the floor with your bald head in the final round.
Taylor… yeah you did your awkward dancing again, but I still am not feeling you 100%. Two weeks ago I feel like your heart left the competition. Where are you buddy. Give us Ray Charles.
Ace. Go home. You were embarassed by QUEEN on national television when you wanted to turn “WE WILL ROCK YOU” into some kind of backstreet boys weenie boy suggestion. You know you’re out of your league when someone says, “I’m not letting you do that to my song” You really deserved to go this week. At least Bucky wasn’t an embarrassment to his family and hometown and all that is right and good with sports arenas aroudn the WORLD!
Paris. I loved your song, I love your voice… and I think you’re a freak. You are schitzophrenic. I dont’ mind you showing a different “look” every week. But you are REINVENTING yourself every week and we don’t know who you are. We’ve seen everything from Beyonce to SmartNSassy to Queen of the Undead.
Elliot. I wince when I see you perform. Then i watch it back and enjoy your vocal. Then when you got sprung on to sing and didn’t know what it woudl be tonight, you sounded GOLDEN. You’re nerves are killing you. Get a grip on the nerves, the vibrato, and give me an undeniable reason to love your voice and you will go much further cuz everyone loves your personality.
Kathrine: You are pulling in the lead as my favorite. You’re cute, smart (unlike pickle-what?), and can really really sing. You challenge yourself more than the other girls, are more versitile than the other girls, and you have real training in these vocal styles. You keep doing better and you’ll have a chance to be in the finals with Chris.
Bucky. Sionara. I didn’t want you to last this long, but you did, and now old whichahachi north whatever will have something else to be proud of other than its closed down race track. You’ll be singing in the 3 b’s for the rest of your life: bars, baptisms and bar-mitzvas.
Kellie – what can I say… you are a retard. May the south live on… i don’t find you hideous to look at or listen to, but I don’t like you either and don’t want you to win this competition.
Thats the wrap up friends. Til next week… here are my picks:
Next to leave: ACE ACE, please please let it be ACE!!
Next week: Sting – please please someone sing Fields of Gold.