Another Tragedy

In case you haven’t heard the news, there has been another fatal school shooting, this time at Northern Illinois University, outside of Chicago.

From what I could gather from the news brief, the gunman entered from a door on the lecture hall stage and opened fire facing the crowd.  Six people were killed.

Which leads me to ask this question: why???  Why do these people enter our temples of learning, and do such senseless violence?  Why prey on the innocent young people, whose lives are just beginning?

The fact that schools have become the madman suicide shooter’s location of choice just triples the tragedy for me.  Our universities represent one of the pinnacles of our modern society. We put great resources and importance to the development of our minds and the enhancement of our societal understanding.  Our schools represent the ultimate in openness and freedom of thought.

Then someone goes in and shoots up the place, contrary to the very foundation and idea of the university.  Suddenly a place of openness and freedom turns into a place of terror and distrust.

It’s hard to make sense of it all.

Retirement: Here I come!

Recently I received a very interesting letter in the mail:


I am the first 26 year old to be admitted to the Association for the Advancement of Retired People!!!

At first I was a little insulted… I mean, how could they get my birthdate wrong by over 40 years! Then I realized, wait… maybe this isn’t so bad after all:

  1. I can notify the Social Security office of my new age, and start receiving benefits.
  2. I can sleep in late or go to bed early without anyone thinking I was lazy.
  3. I can get a discount on pretty much everything anywhere I go.
  4. I can get special benefits on special days of the week.
  5. I can compete in athletic events in the Senior division and smoke my competition.
  6. I can be ornery about cold french fries, complain about local politics and exacerbate neighborhood issues.
  7. I can play games like bridge, backgammon, shuffleboard, and bingo without having to look sporty or ultra competitive.
  8. I can skip children and go straight to grandchildren.
  9. I can get me a sweet part time job for some “mad money” I can use to cruise the ‘vard and pick up chicks.
  10. I can go on Letterman as the youngest old guy in America!

Yes. I could get used to this life! AARP will have no clue what hit ’em!