Internet Not Yet Invented in 11 States

In honor of the new WhiteEyebrows record (45 unique visitors in one day), I’ve decided to honor those who aren’t present…

I’ve not had a single visitor (ever) from the following states:

North Dakota
(too jealous of South Dakota’s one tourist attraction)

South Dakota
(too busy trying to figure out why Mt. Rushmore didn’t get done)

New Mexico
(you know, like Mexico, except NEW!)

Louisiana
(all they have are excuses)

Arkansas
(Hucakbee and Clinton country… need I say more?)

West Virginia
(I hear they still churn their own butter there)
(the Utah of the east)

Delaware
(too close to Washington DC to ever get anything done)

Rhode Island
(in therapy for it’s little state complex)

Maine
(it’s so cold, even the internet moves to Miami for the winter)

Alaska
(the polar bears have taken over)

Hawaii
(if you were in Hawaii you wouldn’t be checking the blog either)

 

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Shame on you! I’m appalled!

 

Everyone else, keep up the good work.

 

3 thoughts on “Internet Not Yet Invented in 11 States”

  1. How are they going to get your message if they don’t read your blog? Personally, I think you
    should hand write letters to random people in those 11 states and mail them out…you know like
    at the post office! 🙂

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