Dear Men of the Internets –
I regret to inform you that after further consideration, I will have to retract my call to action yesterday. As of now, the Men’s LIberation movement has been cancelled until further notice.
In case you are asking yourself, “why is he taking this action?” I will explain.
Last night as my wife and I were going to bed, (once again assigned to the north (“that”) side of the bed) I was informed of all of the ways my wife was going to support me in my movement. These included:
- Fishing mangled measuring spoons out of the food disposal.
- Clubbing or otherwise confronting any intruder that might come into our home with whatever weapon I can handily find.
- Blaming me for any screwed up children we might raise.
… and the list went on.
I am here to say, perhaps women are too strong for our movement? Perhaps are catching on too quickly, reading our offense too easily, and maybe the pendulum will swing too far in the other direction.
So it is with regret that I withdraw my movement back to the confines of my overly-emotional Man-Brain and allow men everywhere to recede into the stereotype if they so choose.
WhiteEyebrows, Men’s Issues Activist
P.S. I might have made up the one about our future screwed up children.