Category: Life & Philosophy

The Impossible Dream

don-quixote.gifHappy New Year from the WhiteEyebrows Blog!!! Isn’t it a great thing to take a moment in time to look both back and forward; back at the year we left and forward to the excitement yet to come.

Recently, during my holiday break, the course of conversation led a family member and I to start contrasting the way in which we fundamentally view life and people. He expressed to me how he typically distrusts everyone and everything, and how everyone is out to “screw him,” as he said.

It made me, for once, sit back and think about how I fundamentally approach life and people. I discovered in that moment that I have a pretty unique (but crazy) world view. I think most people out there live their lives pretty cautiously, like my brother, hoping for the best but assuming the worst of everyone and everything.

I seem to relate more with Cervantes’ Don Quixote. I have never read the book, but I thoroughly enjoy the musical Man of La Mancha, which is roughly based on the book. (So for all you Cervantes scholars out there, you’ll have to forgive me as I butcher these concepts to my own ends here today.)

In the musical, Don Quixote is a (debatably) crazy man who thinks he is a knight sent “to sally forth into the world righting all wrongs.” He gets his kicks by fighting windmills (literally).

In the course of events, he comes across the whore (hmm… not the PC term i was looking for…) Aldonza, who he renames Dulcinea, the most beautiful virgin in all the land. (a designation most of her ..ahem.. customers find quite humorous) He insists on protecting the virtue and chastity of this woman, much to her annoyance.

So, I kind of relate with Don Quixote. I’m a basically optimistic person, who doesn’t just hope good things will happen in my life, I expect them to. I expect the best from every person. I sometimes look past the glaring imperfections in others (and myself) choosing to only see what I want to see, and not necessarily what is there in reality.

By the end of the movie, Quixote, having been confronted with reality and seeing life for what it really is, becomes old, frail and weak. Before he dies, though, surrounded by his friends, he sings the most beautiful song “The Impossible Dream.” In that cathartic moment, we realize that in the course of his lunacy, he had changed the life of everyone around him. They had actually become the good people he projected onto them. Then he dies.

2007 was a doozie of a year for me. Honestly, I weathered some of my most challenging trials ever in this year. I can’t say it was a bad year though. Even though some of my Quixotian lunacy was brought abruptly down to reality, I can’t say that I’ve given up on the Impossible Dream yet. In fact, as I move into a new year, I am more ready that ever pursue that Impossible Dream.

So the question is, what is The Impossible Dream? To me, it is the expectation that everything will work out in the end, and if it hasn’t worked out yet, it’s not the end yet. It is expecting the best of each other that I mentioned earlier. I think it’s also making a difference in the life of someone else. That is the real impossible dream, that because of my life, someone else’s life can be changed. That even after my life is over, I will live on in the minds and lives of those I have touched.

So my New Year’s Resolution: to dream the Impossible Dream. No biggie.

What are yours?

The Happiest (Most Evil) Place on Earth

I had promised a run down of my recent Disneyland vacation, so I thought I had better get it done before it was totally wiped from the slate of my memory (which we all know doesn’t take much).

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Walt Disney was a visionary and a genius. And also an evil sorcerer.

When you leave the public streets and enter Disneyland, you go to an alternate reality. Disneyland is more than the park and rides. Disneyland is the parking, the tram, the ticket booth, and the turnstile to get in. It’s the smell of roasting chestnuts on Mainstreet Disney. It’s the street sweepers, the wandering characters, and even the lines you wait in. Every experience from start to finish is awash with the “disney magic.”

Disney Magic is simply attention to the finest details and the sparing of no expense. It’s a new (sometimes unexpected) discovery around every corner. When you walk through the turnstile at Disneyland, instead of hearing a clunk clunk, you hear a magical wand sound. When they scan your ticket, instead of hearing a grocery store beep, you hear a magical whoosh. This noise must get annoying to the ticket takers, but they don’t seem to let it phase them.

To understand what I mean by the attention to detail, just look down anywhere you are in the park. Even the concrete has been systematically planned and artistically executed. The stamped patterns, textures, and even reflectiveness of it is cohesive with whatever section of the park you are actually in. The illusion is all encompassing. It’s felt from the texture under your feet to the smell under your nose, to the touch and feel of the walls, rails, and barricades.

… And you find yourself unable to keep from smiling and enjoying.

Now, making a leap deeper, I have to go back to my literary theory classes (Thanks Professor Jones!) to make my argument why Walt was also an evil sorcerer.

Jean Baudrillard, a french philosopher, wrote a theory called Simulacra and Simulations which alleges that the original human experience has been replaced by only a simulation (an illusion) of what we perceive the human experience to be like. Wikipedia says it a little better:

Baudrillard claims that modern society has replaced all reality and meaning with symbols and signs, and that the human experience is of a simulation of reality rather than reality itself.

Baudrillard theorized there were 4 levels of simulacra that are possible. I will illustrate using a popular Disney ride, the Mark Twain riverboat:

  1. Original: The original riverboats paddled up and down the Mississippi in the 19th century. None of us have ever been on one, so we have no primary knowledge of the exact conditions on one. We understand they were an effective mode of transportation, but like many things of the era were still technologically primitive, dirty, prone to running down and problems.
  2. Faithful Copy: A fully restored riverboat that today sits in a museum where people can experience what it might have been like to be on such a riverboat. Such a display is an attempt to understand and faithfully copy what it must have looked and been like on a riverboat.
  3. Unfaithful Copy: A retrofitted riverboat, which uses modern propulsion techniques rather than the inefficient Steam/Coal/Paddle boat, but which preserves these mechanisms to give the illusion that they are powering the boat. This puts new technology and new comforts above the actual historical preservation.
  4. Unfaithful copy replaces the original: The retrofitted riverboat becomes so efficient and predominant that all old riverboats are forgotten, dismantled, and destroyed. The very perception of what a riverboat is now changes to the unfaithful copy. Children are raised to think of it as the riverboat itself.

So by the middle of day 2 I started to ask myself, where have they fallen on Baudrillard’s scale of simulacra? I think they are somewhere between #3 and #4. For children who have limited world view and experience, they are certainly #4.

This led me to wonder, what is the morality and implications of Disneyland? Is it right and responsible to create such an all-encompassing world view and expect (successfully) for the masses to buy into it (literally with their wallets)? Do they do us a disservice by leading us to believe in their plastic, idealized, pre-packaged world view? Are they generations down the path to simluation #4, where our children’s children will believe that the big matterhorn is only 7 stories tall?

On the other hand, do they do a service by creating a simplified “it’s a small world” escape for people to temporarily suspend their outside problems? After all, people haven’t forgotten that they also have lives and jobs and outside concerns.

I think I agree with some of the philosophers that the “hyperreal” is taking over our human reality. In an era of digital images, and the ease of distorting and changing them, we actually are creating alternate realities, and realities that don’t even exist. (I look happy in this picture, I look skinny in this picture, etc) We become more wrapped up in the perception of ourselves and our reality that we lose track of the actual reality itself.

Where I disagree is that I think there is a core in each human, call it a soul or spirit, that will always bring that person back to the essence of who they are. That even while in simulation #3, in Disneyland, I still can look inside me and find the same hopes, fears, likes, dislikes, and problems that existed before.

Hmm… sorry to get all crazy there. It’s fun sometimes to dabble in that theoretical crap.

But, the real joy of Disneyland is the excitement and energy of the kids who you are with, or people who are seeing it all for the first time. All theories aside, it keeps them happy and entertained, and gives them an experience unlike anything else they have ever seen before. One they will remember (but hopefully not substitute for reality) for a long time.

We all do what we want.

It’s become WhiteEyebrows’ basic philosophies week here on the blog.

Here’s #2:

We all do exactly what we want.

This is something I learned while a missionary for my church. I worked with the Brazilian people, who are some of the most loving, sincere, transparent people in the world. The object of my mission was to get people to do things. Mostly, it was to get them to be baptized.

This is no easy task. It generally involved getting people to grasp and feel strongly about basic, but ethereal spiritual truths, make changes to their habits, addictions, and daily schedule, as well as overcome the internal and external pressures that were trying to convince them otherwise.

In that fight, I observed that there were people who simply wanted it, and those who didn’t. In the end, the individual always did exactly what they wanted. In order to get them to do anything, I first had to make them want to. I had to somehow inspire in them the deep desire and want for something spiritual, religious, and ethereal in their lives.

When push comes to shove, we will always do exactly what we want to do.

You might say, but what about when I did such and such for my spouse, or when I gave all this time to this cause, and you begin to enumerate your selfless acts. Well, I would argue that “sacrifice” or “the good of the whole” is most times a smoke screen. Religious people sacrifice because they feel they are passing up something now for points with Jesus or Mohammad or whoever. Rich people give money because they want recognition, and those who do so anonymously do so for personal satisfaction. Husbands give into their wives not because they think they are right, but because they want to stay with them.

You can readily see this in action by visiting a local acting school. One of the most basic acting methods is by using “objectives” or wants of a character. The method holds that the way to make a scene compelling, to make a character come alive, and to bring even the most boring text off the page is to understand exactly what the character wants, how badly they want it, and exactly what tactics they will use to get it.

Perhaps what is most disconcerting about this philosophy is that we spend most of our lives going after that which we want, but many times end up discovering that what we thought we wanted isn’t what we wanted at all. (more on that one next Monday)

There’s only what you do.

Here’s another long standing philosophy that I cling to:

There is no what ifs in life, there’s only what you do.

When I was in elementary school, I enjoyed reading “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. At the bottom of each page or section these books would offer the reader several choices with accompanying page numbers to skip to. Sometimes these choices resulted in an exciting story, and other times an abrupt ending to the book. When I would read these books, I would often get mad when the story started going differently than I wanted, or when a decision didn’t leave to great developments in the story like I anticipated. I would then skip back several pages and make different choices. Often times I would leave a finger in the page I left before I skipped ahead to the next section, making sure that I could go back and make the other choice if the story started going in a direction I didn’t like.

Life is not like a choose your own adventure book. There are not multiple alternate space-time continuums that represent what your life would have been like if you had made some other choice at some point. There’s no flipping back the pages, going back in time, and taking another path.

Every moment we live, is a moment of conditions, of the state of the world and of our lives. In that moment, and that moment alone, we act. We choose. At that moment, there is only the choice and the consequent effects of that choice. We can’t turn around and choose again. We can’t recreate that moment and alter the course of our lives. We can only move forward, we can never move back. If we failed at decision R, we must correct that decision through decisions S, T, U and V.

I don’t believe in theorizing on the “what-ifs” of past decisions. I think it’s at best fruitless and at worst painful and paralyzing.

There is only what you do.

This philosophy empowers me to lead a “no regrets” lifestyle. There is no sense in looking at the past and playing what if games. No sense in wondering what you would be like today had you done X, Y, or Z.

You might be thinking that the danger of this philosophy is that you won’t learn from your past mistakes, but what I’m talking about is a more real-time, constant analysis of your decisions. It is a hyper-sensitivity to the success or failure of your current decisions and a constant course correction toward something better. It’s advanced learning from your decisions.

This ties right into my philosophy that we all do exactly what we want to do (I’ll write that blog tomorrow).

Lets take an example… say you are a smoker. You will likely remain a smoker your whole life, until you come to a point where you say, you know what, smoking is killing me. It’s not good for me, and it’s especially not good for those around me. When you have that epiphany, and your basic want changes (I want to not smoke vs. I want to smoke), you will change. Your next decisions are most crucial in that change. There is no more going back and taking the tar out of your lungs.

You can only start from point now.

I realize that this philosophy might not work for all, but it certainly has worked for me. It has offered me a constantly forward looking life, and has prevented me from getting too mired down when I have made bad decisions.

Green Week

I was watching NBC last night, and during one of the commercial breaks on “Heroes,” they had the cast of the show do a small commercial/feature on planting trees out in front of Rockefeller Center in NYC.

I thought, “how nice. they are jumping on this green bandwagon, trying to promote eco friendly ideas and tendencies.”

Then, every NBC show I watched had some major plot element that centered around being “green.”

Then on my local news, there was several feature stories about being eco-friendly, and NBC’s green week.

Then I checked the website to see the schedule, and the whole website is now in hues of green.

Apparently, it is Green Week on NBC.

Turns out, NBC’s parent company, General Electric, has made it “Green Week” for all of their subsidiaries.

When I went to bed, I turned on talk radio, and these guys were blathering on about NBC’s Green Week. I didn’t realize promoting “green” living was such a controversial subject, but apparently they have ruffled some feathers with their green talk. They were going on and on about how Global Warming is not a proven fact, and how the earth warms and cools every few thousands of years… blah blah blah.

As I was listening to these people blather (yes, that is the right word to describe talk radio), I thought to myself, “c’mon guys… what is “Green Week” actually hurting?”

I mean, I’m going to get sick of hearing about how to have a Green Wedding on Days of Our Lives, and leaving a small carbon footprint as you travel through time on Journeyman, or how to be an eco-friendly Hero. I don’t think all this “green” promotion will really enhance the entertainment value of NBC’s shows (which it actually desperately needs), but honestly, what is green week really going to hurt?

What does it hurt to turn the lights off, turn the air conditioning up 2 degrees, drive around less, buy a more fuel efficient car, and recycle your recyclables? Who does it hurt if I use less energy? No one. Who does it hurt if a corporation uses less energy? No one. In fact, being green usually saves you money. Lots of money.

I’m just not understanding what part of that I can feel good about crusading against…

And while I’m on this subject, let me say…

Being “green” is not something you just wake up one morning and decide to do. Being “green” is a process and a way of life. We have been thinking “green” as a nation for several decades, which we don’t give ourselves enough credit for. We have made great strides in being Green:

  • Catalytic converters on cars
  • Recycling programs in major metro areas
  • Better recycling of e-waste: silicon, toner cartridges, batteries, etc.
  • Corporate use of email and document control systems to totally replace paper (most e-corporations are almost entirely paperless)

The truth is, we have grown GDP in our nation in the last 30 years while becoming greener and greener. Now is not the time for a radical shift. Let the “green” movement continue organically. We already are green and we keep getting greener and greener as it makes business sense to do so.

We stand at the brink of a new era of “green.” There is a big inflection point in American thinking now centered around looking for the next big breakthrough in energy. Everyone wants less dependence on foreign oil, dirty coal, and politically impossible nuclear energy. Something big will break, we hope. In the meantime, just use less.

It’s really as simple as that.

There’s No Place Like Home

What a day! In some ways, this is the last day of the rest of the year. The calendar is quickly filling up and soon it will be new year’s. I hope to keep consistently blogging M-Th every week (at least), and hopefully the vacations, parties, hot wassail, and chocolate comas won’t keep me from doing so.

(Side Note: I always feel good when a month has 31 days. It makes me feel like I got the very most out of the month I possibly could. Those months with 30 (and the one with 28) really just under perform.)

Halloween is a great holiday. We theatre people often say that it’s the day when the rest of the world can see how fun it is to dress up and be someone else for a while. (welcome to our job :)) For the past two years, however, I have not really fully participated in this Halloween thing. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t really have any kids to get excited with, or if all the planned parties have been lame, or what. I haven’t decorated anything, dressed up as anything, or really done much. Someone hurry up and figure out why that is, ok?

Also, today marks an anniversary. Today is the first day my THIRD year here in Dallas. That’s right, on October 30, 2005 I rolled into Dallas, with a short gig in mind, not realizing or even dreaming that I might still be here 2 years later. All in all, though, I’m still very happy and grateful for the blessing of being here. I have a pretty great life, and even though I miss being in close proximity to my family and old friends, Texas is actually starting to feel like home.

Samified

Monday I returned from my reconnectification (vacation) and on my third day back at work, I have come to the following conclusion: I’m never taking 10 days off again.

When I returned, there was a pile, nay, a plethora of work for me to do. While I was gone they decided to set a deadline for all my work to be done the day after I returned from my vacation. So, needless to say, they were beating down the door the morning I got back.

But that’s OK. It’s nice to be needed.

Now I’m using phrases like “head above water” and “coming up for air”. Someone told me I looked “samified.” I’m not sure if that means clueless, overworked, frustrated, or just dead sexy.

I finally got back to writing a blog 3 days after I returned. I’m officially sorry for not writing more while I was on vacation, but I was just having WAY too much fun to really post.

Somehow this story from my sister about my two year old niece puts everything back into perspective:

…Apparently [Kyla] was in [her room] needing to poop. So she got on her bed. Pulled off her pants and pooped on the bed. Then she put her pants back on. (leaving me a treasure in there from the aftermath) and went to the closet found some wipes got out 2 and picked up the poop into the wipes, crawled under her bed. Lifted off the vent cover (which is completely underneath her bed) and put her poop in the vent. Then she put the cover back on and played in her room. When I went to get her out to go pick up E and J at school to take them to gymnastics, i found poop on the bed. Took Kyla to the bathroom into the tub. put her clothes in laundry. Then looked for the poop. I knew it had to be somewhere from the streaks and residue on the bed but couldn’t find it, so I asked Kyla where it was, she got out of tub and showed me in the vent. So I had to clean out the vent. Meanwhile i realize that I am going to be late for the picking up of kids… oh the fun oh the joy…

Moments like this make me realize, my life isn’t so bad after all. At least my coworkers don’t deposit poop under my desk.

Reconnectifications

Vacations are amazing things.  They give us a break from the current rut we are in, offer enjoyment, pleasure, and typically involve going to a new or exciting place. 

My vacations, however, seem to defy all of these definitions. 

I typically work during all of my vacations.  I keep up on work email, and am often out promoting my side business.  I typically go to my parent’s or some other family member’s house, and I rarely go to a place I have never been before.  My vacations are enjoyable, but busy.  I try and see as many old friends as possible and catch up with all their goings on.  I think I sometimes return from vacation more tired than when I left. 

In a sense, I guess what I’m doing is reconnecting with my past; the people and locations that I love.  I’m not sure why I feel a need to do that, but it is a rewarding, positive thing to do.  Many great people and experiences make up the memories of my life, and why not re-experience them in some way?! 

Why do I write this?  What is the point?  I’m not really sure.  It just came out.  It’s one more little paradox in my life. 

Maybe I need to start calling my vacations by a new word.  How about returnifications or reconnectifications?  Sounds good to me.