Today’s gift idea is something that every man will need over the course of his life, whether he wants it or not:
Tools
Everyone needs a good set of tools for when the project gets tough.
As my Dad used to say, ‘any job is easy if you have the right tools.’
Girly tools will not do. My mom got a “Mom’s Tools” kit one Christmas so she’d stop borrowing (read: using and losing) Dad’s tools. These tools were all very cheaply made, but would do for hanging a picture or measuring for curtains. In an ironic twist, we’d all borrow (read: steal) “Mom’s Tools” from their hiding place in the buffet because they were always more conveniently located (read: we’re lazy) and you didn’t have to dig through 30 craftsman wrenches to find the screwdriver. Eventually, mom’s tools got lost, too. In fact, I think I still have the Phillips screwdriver from Mom’s toolkit. (Want it back, Mom?)
Now, in the same breath we talk about tools, we have to talk about quality as well. It seems like tools nowadays have suffered some terrible injustices at the hands of non-American manufacturers. I had a hammer which, in the course of regular prying use, had the head totally bent off of it. How can this be considered acceptable to the world?! Hammers are supposed to be the manliest of tools, with the 20 pound sledge hammer coming in first place!
Then there’s my brother. I’ll state up front that he’s basically God’s gift to automobiles. He is the highest grade ASE mechanic there is, and they might even make up new higher grades just to keep challenging him. (I’m just sayin’) He knows pretty much everything about everything when it comes to fixing stuff… and he owns a butt-load of tools! For reals, this guy’s tool chest alone is worth about as much as a most cars. Many of the tools he uses cost more to purchase than the actual automobile he’s repairing. There’s no one who appreciates a good tool (or who has as many tools) as my Big Bro.
Now, he’s allowed to have that many tools: because it’s his job. …Just as I’m allowed to have 4 Macs in my house and a half rack of computer equipment in my closet, because it’s for my job, right? (…right?)
Well, as long as tools get lost, and as long as American automobile manufacturers keep cranking out crap, the tool people will remain in busines.
Thanks for the post. This is very reassuring. I was afraid that tools would fall into the ‘cop-out’ or cliche gift category like ties or socks. Glad to know this one’s safe!
I have the fool proof method to keep Adam from stealing my hammer, screw drivers, etc. (As an aside,
since I have a child, does that make my once “girl’s tool kit” a “mom’s tool kit” now? Because I feel far too young for that…)
Meanwhile, all of my tools have pink flowered handles. Any man caught stealing them loses his man card and since I’ve learned that losing one’s man card is a fate worse than death for any man, it’s pretty much a primo solution. Word to W.E.’s mom.
I’m glad I kept reading…after your first line, my first thought was ‘colonoscopy’.
the mom’s tools had powder blue handles – didn’t deter my guys a bit……
Now W.E. I do hope that the definition of “girly tools” is not just tools owned by a female, cause I own some pretty “manly” tools myself-and I know how to use them! 😉
I could use a plate joiner if you are intrested….