I was in a workshop yesterday on “Finding Your Eternal Companion”, and the presenter said what is certainly one of the most profound things I had ever heard about dating and marriage:
Finding your eternal companion is more about finding yourself than finding the eternal companion.
This is absolutely true.
This week has been pledge week on my local NPR (National Public Radio) affiliate. For those purist capitalists among you, NPR is the radio version of PBS which is Public Television/Radio. These don’t believe in advertising, instead they use government, corporate, and public funds to pay for their programming. What this equates to is LONG, BORING, FREQUENT pledge drives where talking heads yammer on about supporting your public station, etc, etc, etc.
I hate beg week.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for public broadcasting and less advertising. I love watching a show on PBS and not having to suffer or fast forward through the commercials. That is BRILLIANT! But is interrupting every 15 minutes to beg for donations for 20 minutes. Isn’t there ANY better way to get money? What about the internet? What about bank robbery? Man… just stop begging me for money.
One of my favorite quotes about public television was on an episode of The West Wing. Toby is defending a spending bill on public television to some congress members visiting the White House in this spirited exchange:
“There’s one other thing: product licensing for Big Bird dolls and Fuzzy Bear toys?”
“That’s Fozzie Bear,” Toby notes.
“Whatever.”
“It’s Fozzie Bear, not Fuzzy Bear.”
Sidekick-Boy says that twenty million dollars a year in licensing fees are paid to the Children’s Television Workshop, and none goes to PBS. He adds, “This is a company whose chief executive earns high six figures in salary and benefits per year, yet Sesame Street is subsidized by taxpayer dollars.”
Toby says that this is perfectly reasonable complaint. Well, part of it is.
Toby continues, “And I don’t care. We’re going to see to all those things. In the meantime, at a time when the public is rightly concerned about the impact of sex and violence on TV, this administration is going to protect the Muppets, we’re gonna protect Wall Street Week, we’re gonna protect Live from Lincoln Center, and by God, we are gonna protect Julia Child.”
The West Wing (one of my favorite shows, btw) has quite the history with PBS and The Children’s Television Workshop. After all, this is the TV I was raised on, so you can imagine my delight when Big Bird (and that annoying next generation character Elmo) had a cameo appearance with CJ Cregg (played by Allison Janney, a notably TALL actor)
How can a true red blooded American not want to support Big Bird? I mean honestly! We all want to support public television. But few of us actually do. And why is that? Because they are just so freaking annoying about it.
So STOP the BEG DRIVES EVERY 3 MONTHS for public broadcasting!!! It is super annoying. Maybe if you’d back off, I would actually consider donating.
Monday I returned from my reconnectification (vacation) and on my third day back at work, I have come to the following conclusion: I’m never taking 10 days off again.
When I returned, there was a pile, nay, a plethora of work for me to do. While I was gone they decided to set a deadline for all my work to be done the day after I returned from my vacation. So, needless to say, they were beating down the door the morning I got back.
But that’s OK. It’s nice to be needed.
Now I’m using phrases like “head above water” and “coming up for air”. Someone told me I looked “samified.” I’m not sure if that means clueless, overworked, frustrated, or just dead sexy.
I finally got back to writing a blog 3 days after I returned. I’m officially sorry for not writing more while I was on vacation, but I was just having WAY too much fun to really post.
Somehow this story from my sister about my two year old niece puts everything back into perspective:
…Apparently [Kyla] was in [her room] needing to poop. So she got on her bed. Pulled off her pants and pooped on the bed. Then she put her pants back on. (leaving me a treasure in there from the aftermath) and went to the closet found some wipes got out 2 and picked up the poop into the wipes, crawled under her bed. Lifted off the vent cover (which is completely underneath her bed) and put her poop in the vent. Then she put the cover back on and played in her room. When I went to get her out to go pick up E and J at school to take them to gymnastics, i found poop on the bed. Took Kyla to the bathroom into the tub. put her clothes in laundry. Then looked for the poop. I knew it had to be somewhere from the streaks and residue on the bed but couldn’t find it, so I asked Kyla where it was, she got out of tub and showed me in the vent. So I had to clean out the vent. Meanwhile i realize that I am going to be late for the picking up of kids… oh the fun oh the joy…
Moments like this make me realize, my life isn’t so bad after all. At least my coworkers don’t deposit poop under my desk.
Vacations are amazing things. They give us a break from the current rut we are in, offer enjoyment, pleasure, and typically involve going to a new or exciting place.
My vacations, however, seem to defy all of these definitions.
I typically work during all of my vacations. I keep up on work email, and am often out promoting my side business. I typically go to my parent’s or some other family member’s house, and I rarely go to a place I have never been before. My vacations are enjoyable, but busy. I try and see as many old friends as possible and catch up with all their goings on. I think I sometimes return from vacation more tired than when I left.
In a sense, I guess what I’m doing is reconnecting with my past; the people and locations that I love. I’m not sure why I feel a need to do that, but it is a rewarding, positive thing to do. Many great people and experiences make up the memories of my life, and why not re-experience them in some way?!
Why do I write this? What is the point? I’m not really sure. It just came out. It’s one more little paradox in my life.
Maybe I need to start calling my vacations by a new word. How about returnifications or reconnectifications? Sounds good to me.
Many organizations have polled the question, “Would you vote for a Mormon candidate?” Well, I propose they try a new poll question, particularly among Mormons… “Would you vote for a candidate solely because he was a Mormon?”
When I talk to other Mormons about Mitt Romney’s candidacy, they typically don’t know too much about him. That is understandable because it is still early in the presidential race, and up until now he has been living and working in Massachussetts (which might as well be Timbuktu to some Mormons…). When I ask them who they are leaning toward, they usually say something like, “Well… I’d vote for Mitt just to get a Mormon in the White House.”
It’s basically the same logic that kept Sanjaya in American Idol for so long. People vote for the least likely candidate just to see how far he will go. (Well, the analogy breaks down when you realize that Sanjaya had no business in AI, whereas Mitt has qualifications to be President)
However… this is a dangerous position. You should get to know Mitt politically. Decide if he is the leader you want leading the country. I would be very curious to see how many Mormons would vote for their religion even if the candidate were Hillary herself.
While I’m on the topic of Mormonism, did you see “House MD” last night? I thought it was absolutely hilarious. One of the “applicants” for the new positions on House’s team is a black Mormon which House identified by a class ring from Brigham Young. This was funny to me because:
The character asserts early that Mormons now have a “very progressive” view on african-americans, then agrees to get slammed on Vodka as the “control group” for House’s latest medical test, after putting up a good fight contrary. (C’mon… wwjd if having a few shots cured a woman) I am really curious to see if this character will get anywhere in the series, and if House will continue to bash on his religious views. Who knows, maybe Mormonism will be the cure for House’s atheism! Um.. Not.
Saturday I was invited by my friend, Alan, to go to his gym and work out with his trainer Darche’. I have always wanted to experience what a personal trainer might have to offer, and Alan had said that he really liked this guy, so I gave it a whirl.
As a result, I have now experienced a new level of physical pain and suffering I have heretofore not experienced! In fact with the stroke of each and every key in writing this blog, small pains are shooting up my arms and shoulders.
Apparently, it was an “arms” day. We spent our time on bench press, incline press, decline butterflies, and cable butterflies. On each exercise we did 6-8 reps and 4-6 sets. By the time I got to set 4, I couldn’t push anything up anymore. I was beat.
However, I did learn that having a trainer (or even a partner who knows what he’s doing), is really worth it.
My friend began a few months ago, and I have seen how noticeably huge he has gotten. In his first week he had lost something like 10% body fat, and gained like 3 inches all over. He is very dedicated and goes 6 days a week.
Overall, it was a surprisingly positive experience… yeah I know… I even astound myself… a positive experience at a gym is possible?!?! I left thinking “I may even repeat this experience sometime in the near future. ”
Until I woke up the next morning. PAIN. Agony. Hurt. I couldn’t move my arm up higher than my chest. Every arm movement cause new pain somewhere else. Simple and routine things like pulling a shirt over my head, opening a heavy door, and pushing yourself up off the floor suddenly become painful, and the creative solutions have to follow. Rolling up onto your feet rather than pushing up. Putting a shirt on one arm at a time.
Three days, hours of stretching, one massage, and 3 gallons of water later, the pain is now starting to subside.
Exercise really isn’t so bad… maybe.
According to President Ahmedinejad, there are no homosexuals in Iran. In his words, “this phenomenon does not exist.”
Just one more striking, dramatic evidence that this man denies the basic realities of life. What do we call those again? Oh yeah, lunatics.
Oh, actually these guys might be a little sad to find out that they never existed…
Even new houses have problems. This is what I have discovered in the first 2 years of living in my new house. Foundations and concrete heaves and shifts, sheet rock nail pops happen, residues and funny smells abound, and everything that was weakly constructed will break at some point.
Women, sit down here for a second and lets have a chat. In the last 25 years or so, you have finally come to an understanding of a phenomenon of your gender, that you tend to look past the flaws of a man and marry them based on potential, rather than their current state. Phrases such as “women marries man hoping he’ll change, and man marries women hoping she never will” and “careful women, you can’t change him” have become staple sentiments of our dating ideology.
No wonder people are waiting longer and longer to get married. Men are now expected to have it more together, to have all the partying out of their system, and to be mature… pshht. You long surpassed us in the maturity area starting at age 12, but that’s another post altogether.
This has led me to the conclusion: Women, realize that every man is a fixer upper. Granted, there are men who are more fixer uppers than others. There are some who should be downright avoided, and some abusive behaviors that can’t be fixed. Avoid those for sure. But, you need to realize that there’s no such thing as a Bisquick marraige (just add woman), and that the man you want to marry will most definitely require your guiding hand in refining his personality, habits, and behaviors.
Men… to quote the philosopher Hinckley, “the woman you choose will take a great chance on you.” So don’t be an idiot. Don’t mess with her. Somehow you have duped her into marrying you, now it’s time to pay the piper. If you absolutely trust that she has your best interest at heart, and if you listen to her, she will make you a better person.
So my conclusion is, yes, marry people based on their potential, but more importantly marry people based on their potential for change. If you share common goals and hopes for the future, and you are both flexible to each other’s wills, maybe it just might work out.
There is no more redefining moment in your life than a marriage, so just how will it define the rest of your life?
These people really inspire me: